I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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