i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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