my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
