yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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