i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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