Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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