Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
