I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize