p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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