That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
jump out the window naked night went bad
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
