she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
