I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize