I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
