He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
