I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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