I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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