She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
