The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
