I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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