apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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