i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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