so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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