Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize