Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
