Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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