no, he came in my armpit
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We left the knife in your bed.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
