It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
