so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just pee around me
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
