pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
