pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize