I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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