are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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