I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize