I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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