Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
