I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
