Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
