I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
