all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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