I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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