I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
