he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
