I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
