we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
