so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
