It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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