Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
