My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
