Someone shit on the floor
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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