We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
