Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
