Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
