I think i peed on brittanys purse
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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