You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize