based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
