And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize