Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
