why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize