Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
FUCK WHALES
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize