I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
