I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
