I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
