I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
