Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
