Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
